Lost As A Candle Lit At Noon, Lost As A Snowflake In The Sea

Hi, sorry for the second post today. this'll be super quick.
Zennon has decided that some of us need to sing I Am Not Yours, from last year. (Remember in my post about Spring, i said that Mr. Shank (TAKE THAT, GOOGLE ALERTS!) had used Sara Teasdale poetry, and if could you say I Am Not Yours? yeah. we're singing that. epic excitement. it's so pretty. that's all. until later, gators.

Courage and Valor (And All Things Cute)

Information time!The Ray Downey Courage and Valor medal is a medal awarded to fireman who have shown... you guessed it, courage and valor. the firemen (and sometimes their families) do an annual run, the Courage and Valor 5K Walk/Run, to raise money for the fireman who is awarded the medal. (The stories are really neat. http://www.courageandvalor.com/ has the last few years.)
My Daddy is a fireman.

(in case you missed it, at some point.)

So, yesterday, i got home from school and found out that Dad was going to go do the Courage and Valor 5K. and my mother was going too. (She's trying to lose weight, and her Weight Watcher group has decided that they each have to do a 5K within ten weeks.)
so she was like, Caitie, your father won't walk with me. he wants to run it. will you come?
So i did. Dad was disappointed. apparently, he wanted to recruit me to run with him so he'd have someone to run with. this is the part of the story where i inform you of some stuff.
1) Dad's on a new kick, where he wants to train me to run with him, since neither of the boys will.
2) a few years ago, i damaged my knee. if i run too much, my kneecap hits the bone underneath it and bruises it. this is mildly painful, and really annoying. i don't run too much, but i miss it, i'd like to get back to it.
3) i haven't gone running in a while.
4) Dad has decided, now, that i am going to run a 5K with him in June. a night run.
5) i'm always up for a challenge.

Guess who's going running tonight? i'd rather not embarrass myself too badly. Dad's good at keeping me motivated, but still. i'd like to be KIND of in better shape. so i'm going to take a run tonight, just around the neighborhood. i'll take my music. it'll be exciting. also, i got a shirt. it's huge. i'm going to have to figure out what to do with it. (i think i'll wear it with leggings. i have a red belt somewhere, so that'll work nicely. i'm wearing it today with capris, but it's just so big, i'm swimming. Ray's only comment was "You have bad luck with t-shirts", so i tied it up with a hairband. i like it a little better now. but it just looks so darn cool! Here's a pic of the front.) (Nifty, right? i like it a lot. sorry, i took it with my nifty little laptop cam thing, so the picture sucks. =])

back to the Courage and Valor Walk/Run. This is the part of the blog where i shamelessly stroke my ego. sorry, guys. so, on the way there, Dad informs me that he has only one rule for this.
No talking to any of the firemen except him.
Me: -blinks- what?
Mom: you're too cute.
Dad: firemen are bad. (i'm paraphrasing, here)
Me: you guys are ridiculous.
so, we get there and start, and Mom and i are keeping up a nice pace in the back. (By nice pace, i do mean that i didn't sweat too much and desperately wanted to catch up with my Daddy.)
Right behind us were the guys in their turnouts. As we started, one of the guys said, "We better get going." and they started shuffle running. and then one looks at the other and goes, "We get to cut corners, right? we should totally cut corners."
i laughed a lot. firemen are the best. =]
anyway. Dad was up ahead, running with some people. they asked who he was there with, and he goes, "My wife and daughter." and described/pointed us out.
their response? (this is the shameless part, i shouldn't tell you.)
"Wait, the redhead belongs to you? She's cuuuuuuute."
and they weren't kidding. =]
i know, i know, i should stop, but come on, guys. how often am i really narcissistic? not often. and it's my blog. so shh.
i texted Jo and told her.
her response? "Well, duh, you're adorable. But they can't have you, because Ray and I have a hard enough time sharing you just between two of us."
i want to know when they've been having a hard time. she's been in Kentucky.

all right. so, tonight, Maggie and Tom and i are going out. (PARTAY!) actually, China's Best and a movie, i think.
Ray has a game tomorrow, though. at least one. it's away. i might skip the movie to go hang out with him, instead, tonight, since i won't get to see him tomorrow. i'm still deciding.
then, soccer game tomorrow. i'll take pictures of my kids, they're so freaking cute. then... hopefully, i won't have to mow. (HAAAAAAAATE)
Sunday, GLORY is singing, so i won't be at church. correction, i won't be at Hope, i'll be with the crazy Methodists. (i love me some Methodists.)
and then... Jesus Christ Superstar starts. -giggles ridiculously-
I'M SO EXCITED.
sorry, sorry, i'm cool, i'm cool.
We're doing a read through. if you're a music person, you're scratching your head right now. Yes, i know it's a rock opera. Alison is CALLING it a read through. really, we're watching the movie.
and i got my script yesterday. holyohmystars, i'm so happy.
i still honestly can't really believe i'm Mary.
holy. oh. my. stars.
i'm Mary. =]
(Logan is Jesus, by the way. Ray is Peter, which means he and i get to sing a duet. :D)
okay, i'll stop freaking out now. i'm just really excited. I'm Mary Magdalene. holyohmystars.
i'm sorry, i'll stop. really. :D

Health Is Pointless, Blog Instead!

Health seems like a fairly pointless class to me.
Shocker, i know.
Maybe it's because i'm a senior. (i doubt it.)
All it is is... [is that grammatically correct? do you stuff a comma in there? all it is, is? looks better. but i don't think so.] All it is is a bunch of busy work. seriously. we're talking about a smoke free environment. i don't smoke. (cigarette smoke makes me cough, i would never touch one because of that. no point in giving myself an asthma attack.) but whatever. Okay, so, we have a sub today. Our assignment is to read six pages and do... -counts- twenty-six questions. not even good questions. ugh. i could pass these tests without reading the book, by the way. (i've gotten more than one A+ on a test where i had not read the required material. the questions are that dumb and obvious. not doing well in this class means you either REALLY don't care, or have little to no common sense.)

But health is boring, let's not talk about it any more. Let's see... Interesting things today...
Mommy is grumping about my taking Herbert. she says i don't have any room. all of my shelves are taken up by books, it's true. my room is flooded with books. and the rest of my books are out in the hallway. i hate them being out there, i love my books, and Micah takes them and folds the corners and ruins their covers and... don't judge. Anyway. all my Harry Potter books are on one shelf of my desk, but they don't technically need to be there, i guess i can move them. that's just where they ended up when i was painting.
Speaking of painting... i'm a terrible painter. but i like it a lot. it's calming. so i paint.
My desk is coming along nicely. see, it was that fake wood stuff, with a black top. two levels. and i got tired of it. my desk works for me, you see, but it's not going anywhere after me. (it's a little broken in parts. don't worry, i rigged it.) so i painted it. it's too hard to explain, i've done so much to it. so i'll just tell you about my favorite part (so far).
i took one of my shelves and painted it blue. then, in red and yellow and orange, i painted flames all around the sides, so that there was a wide open blue space in the middle. and then, i took the lightest grey i had, mixed in a little more white so that it was very, very light, and painted charter marks all over it.
like in Abhorsen, at the end. when she looks up into the sky, past the last gate...
-sighs-
it turned out well, i like it lots. Joelle was really proud.
i have a tribute to my book, Confession of Pain, on the top, next to my CD player. by the way, i'm working on a sequel to that. it's still in the works... Joelle's already mad about it. i'm killing one of her favorite characters. (i have a problem. i can't let my children be happy for too long... and for what i want to happen, one of my characters has to die. bummer. i'll probably cry.)
anyway, i'm working on my dresser, now, just until i decide what i want to do next on my desk.
i'm going to put this quote on it (my dresser, that is).

The finest clothing made is a person's skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. ~Mark Twain

it made me laugh when i read it.
so i'm putting it on my dresser. i've painted the drawers, they look good. colorful. so now it's the doors, but i don't think i'll do the top or the sides. i'm just not sure yet. i love painting. :D

Also, the kids that i work with on Wednesdays were upset that i wasn't at church last night. which made me kinda happy, since i completely adore them.
OH OH OH!
So, soccer season started. (My mother is the coordinator for our church soccer league. it's so great, i love it. i coach four and five year olds, and they're so cute.)
anyway, Saturday, at the game, i grabbed my box and headed outside to my field. (I have a big plastic box thing that i keep extra balls and cones and my clipboard in. i take it out so the kids have someplace to sit. hehe.) anyway, i have... -thinks- just two? just two church kids on my team. (and a set of identical twins. but i think i've got them, i called them by their correct names all Saturday, didn't mix them up once.) anyway. one of the church kids, Lorelei, is my assistant coach's daughter. the other one is Max, and he's KJ's son. (KJ is my friend. we're pals. her daughter is Macie, i'm positive i've told you how cute she is.) anyway, i adore Max, he's adorable. but i got out to the field and started warming my kids up, playing keep away and such, and Max gets there and runs up to me and hands me two tulips, and gives me a big hug. awwwwwwwwwwwwww. it made my day. :D he's just too darn cute. then i went home, mowed, and then i went to see Hello, Dolly! (love. it was awesome) anyway, i'll probably have lots of soccer stories in the near future.

So, Ziplock Bag and a Freezer, or Do You Prefer a Rock?

--Warning: i'm sick today. not throwing up sick, but dizzy, tired, head hurt sick. nothing major, i've just been away from humans all day, and i'm likely to go on ridiculous tangents in what is probably going to be a long post. enjoy. also, i smell like mint from the stuff i put on my shoulders. it's weird.--

Ben has two frogs. (I'm sure i've talked about them.)
their names are Herbert and Little Scholar.
Okay, i'm lying to you. Herbert does not technically have a name. see, Ben doesn't name things right off--it takes him for freaking ever. Little Scholar didn't have a name for MONTHS, and we didn't know what to call him. he was just "the frog" (he's so cute. he's a dumpy tree frog.).
"Make your stupid frog shut up!"
"the frog jumped out of the bowl you had him in, and is happily croaking away in Mom's bathroom."
"I put the frog on Micah's head and he screamed like a little girl."
"Can i hold the frog?"
so we were all kind of surprised when one day, out of the blue, Ben was like, "His name is Little Scholar."
Us: ..............
Ben: i just decided this morning.
Us: you've had him for months.
Ben: Yeah. but i finally decided i like his name.
Us: okay....
so when Ben decided to get Little Scholar a friend, i put my foot down. i refused to wait months for a name for the new frog. so the moment i saw him, i picked him up, stroked his back, and said, "Hello, Herbert!"
Ben: his name is not Herbert.
Me: whatever.
Micah and Mom: we like Herbert.
Ben: HIS NAME IS NOT HERBERT.
Me: Right, whatever.
Guess what name even Ben calls him, even though he insists that it is not his real name?
If you said Herbert, you deserve a cookie. if you said anything else, you deserve a raised eyebrow and a cookie, because you're going nowhere in life (Or possibly everywhere, depending on the amount of sarcasm).
sorry about the tangent.

anyway, Ben has these two frogs, and he just discovered that Herbert is a cannibal.
And he might eat Little Scholar if he gets too hungry (Even though Little Scholar is MUCH bigger than Herbert).
Now, you must understand. Yes, my brother is twenty years old. yes, he has had many pets. but if Herbert eats Little Scholar, while Ben will be impressed, he will cry, and hate Herbert forever and ever. By forever and ever, i mean until he kills Herbert. Ben loves Little Scholar.
Think i'm joking? he researched it. Herbert is a Cuban Tree Frog. His kind are currently invading Florida. (Apparently, some people there are under the impression it's one of the plagues. that made me chuckle. Frogs is number two, by the way. when did the water turn to blood? Next is lice. don't try on any hats at the store, okay?) The people in Florida are taking care of it, though, the humane way. they catch as many frogs as possible, put them in ziplock bags, close the bags, and PUT THE BAGS IN THE FREEZER. (OMG, what?)
that's the humane way?

whatever. Ben says that he would rather be smashed with a rock, as opposed to what sounds like a slow, painful, chilly death. (He doesn't like cold any more than i do.)
also, he has told me that if Herbert eats Little Scholar and doesn't choke in the process, he plans to put Herbert in a ziplock bag and throw him in the freezer. i have offered to take Herbert off his hands. now i have to buy a frog lamp, so that i can remove the threat to Little Scholar (And get my own frog! ADORABLE!)

Now, for my next story. this relates, i swear, wait until the end.
So, yesterday was Shankfest. (YAY!) I think they called it something sensible, like "An Evening with Joshua Shank", but come on, people, how often am i known for being sensible?

anyway, i don't mind going to school for choir stuff. so we wandered inside, and i was immediately assaulted by Logan. (i wish he were my brother. he can act like a jerk, but i really see myself in him. i understand him better than most people, and more importantly, he's got such a great heart. i adore him. it's actually a good thing he's not my brother. i already spoil him. think how much worse it would be if we were blood related... whew.) but he gave me a big hug, and then we wandered into the auditorium. (fun fun fun!)
all the choirs sat in the front. also, we got to use the shell. (love.)

(Quick side note. i'm sorry. i was calling Danielle. do you know how weird it is to hear your voice on other people's answering machines? it's weird. i've recorded fun answering messages for a couple of my friends, and whenever i call them and get the machine, i'm like woah, that's me.)

okay. so, i don't know if you remember from my post way back in December, but Joshua Shank is my hero, and i was pretty darn excited to meet him. Remember the evil plan? yeah, i followed through. (i'm such a sad, sad little person.) i wore my Decemberists shirt. (Y'all know how hard it is for me to talk to ANY new people, let alone people i admire. Joelle, i see you nodding your head in agreement. thank you.) i'm... glad? to say that it worked. he talked to me. i talked back without saying anything completely stupid. (I said completely, i didn't just say stupid.)
well.
he (Joshua Shank) asked me to read the poem he used for Spring, before we sang it. (there was much geeking out at the lunch table. Maggie was giggling like a little girl, and Hannah kept telling me she was jealous. I'm proud to say, truthfully, that i didn't freak out... much. =] (The lack of freaking out may or may not have been due to the fact that there was an intense knot of nervousness growing in my belly. talking in front of people is not my forte.))
otay. so, the Blend sang. (You know how i feel about the Blend. lovelove.) it was gorgeous. simply splendid. and then we, the Madrigals, went up. We sang Go, Tell It On The Mountain. (I talked about how much i love that song in my Evil Plan blog, 'member?) Then we sang David's Lamentation. i don't know if i talked about it, but i adore that one, too. and then it was time for Spring. so i went up, and read, and managed not to shake and stutter and sound like an idiot. (you may clap, if you so choose. i will. -claps-)

and then we sang Spring. :D
and that's all i'll say about that (who needs to talk about a piece that beautiful?). because here's the funny part. (Not at the time. i honestly had no idea my face could be THAT red.)
As we were walking off stage, Bel Canto was up next, Joshua Shank walks up and hands me a folded piece of paper.
Him: this is for you.
Me: -in a state of utter confusion-
so i wandered off stage, opening the tri-folded piece of paper.
...
it was my blog. (this is the part where my Dad burst into laughter when i was telling him the story.)
all my boys in the Blend IMMEDIATELY knew something was up. i'm embarrassed easily, yes, but seriously, my face was so red my ears were burning.
he.
had.
read.
my.
blog.
including, ohmystars,myevilplan.
he knew. he HAD KNOWN. (and still talked to me?)
i knew exactly which post it was, too. the Evil Plan post. i felt like SUCH an idiot (red ears to the max. go ahead, laugh. he KNEW about my plan. DANGIT.). Yeah, i post online, but let's be honest, who reads this? not too many people, mi amigo. it's not even under MY REAL NAME.
so i went and sat on Elliot's lap, and switched pages. (there were two.) on the second page was a handwritten note that did NOT say, as i expected, anything to the effect of,
Caitie.
attached is a copy of the restraining order. i have kindly allowed you to participate in tonight's display, but if you come within fifty feet of me ever again, you stalker, i'll have you arrested. have a nice life,
Joshua Shank.

instead, it said that Google Alert had told him i had posted it. (and now, let's be honest, i'm worried it'll send him this. stupid Google, you traitor.) he read it, and said that he enjoyed the way i expressed myself. no restraining orders, no "you're a freak", he even signed it "with respect".
i'm feeling possessive of it right now.
You have to understand. i'm really not a stalker. really, i'm not. but where other people want to meet celebrities like Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, the only two people i have ever had the strong desire to meet, because i respect and admire them so deeply, are Joshua Shank and Garth Nix. (he's an author. he wrote Sabriel. Sabriel has held the title of my favorite book for a while now, which is hard to do.)
when i showed my friends though, they immediately were like, "HAHAHAHAHA! he thinks you're a FREAK!"
Ashley, God bless her, was like, "no, he said nice things."
I still had a pit in my stomach the size of an elephant. so i immediately went up and apologized, thanking him for not just calling me a freak.
and he thanked me. -read small amounts of confusion and disbelief-
and gave me a hug.
seriously, i'm ecstatic. still. (don't judge.)
Really. for someone as talented as Joshua Shank to tell me that i have "an immense talent"...
i don't even know how to explain it.

but i will say this. i'm still SOOOOOOO embarrassed. i can't believe he knew my plan! -facepalms- i'm such an idiot. :D
but i'm also strangely glad. (i mean, i am running the risk of him seeing this. Google, you traitor, i'll fight you.)
anyway. when i got home and Ben told me his plan for killing Herbert, my immediate response was 1) save him and 2) would you mind smashing ME with a rock?
and that's how this all ties together.

a few things before i go to sleep.
1) I told you all that we're doing Jesus Christ Superstar this summer, right? i suppose i neglected to post when Alison called me and informed me that yours truly will be playing the role of Mary Magdalene. i'm so excited (and nervous and anxious and OMG what if i do terribly? but mostly excited.). tell people. it's in July, i'll update you all, fear not. i mean, seriously, how long was it before i shut up about Godspell? (That's a trick question. i still haven't shut up about Godspell. :D)
2) I get to help put stuff away in the music library. :D
3) They didn't find out why i fainted. -rolls eyes- whatevs.
4) really, i'm sorry this is such a looooooong post. i just haven't been able to tell my stories today, and... yeah. but if you're reading this, you made it to the end. good for you!
5) also, i no longer desire to be smashed. i'm accepting it as good. :D

And Today's Exciting Mishap Award Goes To...

Passing out in 3rd period.
(Yeah, i'm cool.)
So, i had a headache all morning. and i was like, all right, whatever, have headaches a lot. but then in 3rd period, i was sitting there listening to a presentation when suddenly i felt AWFUL. i was like... eww... body... ow... and i felt dizzy and such. so i was like, "Can i go to the bathroom?" and my teacher was like -nods stoically-
so i walked out into the hallway, and the lights hit me, and everything went dim and fuzzy and my head spun and i couldn't focus or walk, and i couldn't see, and i couldn't hear right, and i was trying to hurry to the bathroom and i was wiggling my fingers to keep my mind focused on a part of my body so i wouldn't faint...
and then someone (i couldn't see who) was like, "Are you all right?"
"Uhm... No. no, i don't think so."
"I'll go get the nurse, you sit down..."
"Yeah, good idea." (I'm guessing at what was said. i'm pretty sure this is the general gist of the conversation, though.) so i sat down, and either she walks REALLY FAST or i passed out.
so i went to the nurse's station (in a wheelchair. shoot. me. now.) and laid on a bed and drank water and waited for my mommy. i was pale and sweaty and tired and listless and such.
Mom came, and we got McDonald's. yum.
then i just... slept. and when my chest hurt so that i woke up, i watched SVU. it was really fun. then Mom and i sewed my dress. i think i'll have it, but i'm not sure whether i'll wear it Saturday or Sunday. i really like it. pictures to come when it's done.
also, while a little dizzy and tolerating a slight headache, i'm much better today, thank you. so i am at school.
tonight, i'm going to see Alice in Wonderland. =]
with Mandi...
and maybe Danielle. imma text her.
bye, kids!

Spring Is In My Hands... Autumn Too.

Epic Beginning Tangent - i know, i know, it's supposed to be "spring is in the air."
well, it's not. it's freezing here in Indiana.
freezing. i hate the cold.

--let's get something straight--i like winter okay... winter scenes, really. i have an artist's soul--snow is beautiful, and grey skies are perfect, and bare trees stretching their thin hands to the cloudy heavens... it's poetic.

but i hate the cold. hate. hate. hate. i hate snow. i hate the feel of it in my boots (not under my boots, i like the crunch of fresh snow and the nice smell), i hate the chill it sends down my spine, i hate the feel of it on my skin, on my hands, i hate it i hate it ihateitihateitihateit. i hate when the sky's cheery and blue and pretending to be warm and friendly, only to trick you outside to realize that it's fracking freezing. it really cheeses my cracker.

Winter is mean and spiteful and wicked. mean. spiteful. wicked. i refuse to befriend it.
End tangent.--

You may be wondering why i said Spring AND Autumn are in my hands, as opposed to one or the other being in the air. well, i'll stop your wondering. no, they're not people, mind out of the gutter.
they're songs. Spring and Autumn, by Joshua Shank.
holy cats, guys, i have Spring and Autumn.
back story! -pensive expression-
When i was a freshman, Joshua Shank came to my high school... (i didn't get to meet him. -sobs-) they were preforming Autumn. when i heard it, i cried. I knew Madrigals was the choir i wanted to be in. and Joshua Shank became my hero. (I really love Gabriel's Message. go listen. do it.)
well, this year is my senior year. (How time flies.) and at the beginning of the year, Mrs. Prather informed us that she wanted to commission a piece from Joshua Shank for the Madrigals. i almost cried when i realized it would be next year, since pieces like this take forever and such. but then Joshua Shank was like, "No, i'll have it for you this school year." and i was like OHMYSTARSNOWAYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY! (i may or may not have cried, but no one can prove it.) not only that, but now i get to meet him. end of back story! hey, that's not a pensive expression on your face, you look bored... or confused. it's okay, we're still friends.
i'm.
so.
excited.
and he wrote us Spring. -cries with joy-
it's beautiful. so beautiful.
it uses text from two of Sara Teasdale's poems. (Can anyone say I Am Not Yours from last year? you can? good. you may pass go, but you may not collect two hundred dollars unless you find me and sing it.)
Twilight and There Will Come Soft Rain...
beautiful beautiful beautiful.
here they are, if you're too lazy to go look them up. i'm going to go swoon. i bolded my favorite lines from each, because i'm just nice like that.

Twilight
Dreamily over the roofs
The cold spring rain is falling;
Out in the lonely tree
A bird is calling, calling.
Slowly over the earth
The wings of night are falling;
My heart like the bird in the tree
Is calling, calling, calling.

There Will Come Soft Rain
There will come soft rain and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;
And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum-trees in tremulous white;
Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire.
And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.
Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly.
And Spring herself when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

And I Thought I Could Escape It...

the snow, that is. yes, ladies and germs, it's snowing up here. no, i'm serious. yes, i'm rather sad.
BUT I GET TO SEE JOELLE!
and her performance is tonight.
performance is an odd word to spell. i mean, come on. let's be serious. no one says PER-formance. they say PRE-formance.
which is silly, because that means before the formance. which is not a word. is it?
i googled it. apparently, formance is baby formula. so... "Step 1: Pre Formance, make sure you have a baby, as you need something to feed the Formance to. Step 2: feed baby, or he'll eat your feet off."
also, i don't have dance tonight. YAY! :D