is amazing amazing amazing. we're doing so well.
A certain alto decided to sing tenor and threw the rest of us, me and two band kids who are AMAZING, but quiet, and a middle school girl who is adorable and knows all the notes but is also super quiet, under a bus. (just saying. -mildly irritated-)
anyway.
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR TICKETS ARE NOW ON SAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE! YAAAAAAAAAY!
buy them. come see me. do it.
please?
i'm really excited.
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really excited!
we sound really good, guys. we really, really do.
we're all working really hard.
Bryce is amazing.
the soul girls... mm, girl, have they got soul. -realizes she's been spending too much time with Alison, who is also working her tail off.
Logan... i just... he's just... GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
anyway. tickets are $7. and you know you want one. i'll have them at church this Sunday, or you can give me the money and i'll get you one, or you can get it through Calvary. JUST COME!
Me
(P.S. today, Micah told me that i should respect him because he is bigger than me and could hurt me. thinking immediately of what Ray, Dad, Josh, and Joelle would do if the boy so much as laid a finger on me, i laughed in his face. he pushed me into a wall, but it was totally. worth. it. i kind of almost hope he does hit me. i don't think he'd ever recover from the beating he'd get, but he would never threaten me again. =])
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Do You Always Have To Critique Me?
I'm in a rather bad mood today. and it's... 8:33 in the morning.
Gah, i hate that.
But Mom does this thing where she constantly critiques me. CONSTANTLY. and it's driving me crazy.
she hates my hair, she hates the way i stand, she hates the way i look, the way i eat, does she like anything at all about me?
i'm sorry i'm not a model.
but it's really, really, really hard to even try to have good self esteem when the person in my life who should be the most proud of me, the most supportive, the one who should tell me i'm beautiful and all that instead tells me i look fat, or she hates the color i have to dye my hair, or i shouldn't slouch because it makes me look fat, or i shouldn't roll my shoulders forward, or i shouldn't dress like that because i'm showing too much skin. (You guys have met me. you know how i dress. do i look like a whore to you?)
anyway, i'm really rather upset. i'm not even really mad, i'm just... upset. it makes me feel sick to my stomach when she does this all the time. and then, if i look in the mirror, i immediately start judging myself too.
"You're not even good enough for your own mother."
that's all i hear when she starts in like that.
and it really, really hurts my feelings.
especially since i felt pretty today.
well, so much for that.
sorry this is depressing. but, seriously, if i don't talk about it, i'll explode. no, i won't. but i will cry, or tell someone who will tell mom. (I know you guys won't.)
well, i'm late to VBS. later, kids. i'll blog something happy tonight. i just really, really needed to get this off my chest, because i finally feel like i'm not going to burst into tears. (even if you guys aren't really listening. =])
later, gators.
Me
Gah, i hate that.
But Mom does this thing where she constantly critiques me. CONSTANTLY. and it's driving me crazy.
she hates my hair, she hates the way i stand, she hates the way i look, the way i eat, does she like anything at all about me?
i'm sorry i'm not a model.
but it's really, really, really hard to even try to have good self esteem when the person in my life who should be the most proud of me, the most supportive, the one who should tell me i'm beautiful and all that instead tells me i look fat, or she hates the color i have to dye my hair, or i shouldn't slouch because it makes me look fat, or i shouldn't roll my shoulders forward, or i shouldn't dress like that because i'm showing too much skin. (You guys have met me. you know how i dress. do i look like a whore to you?)
anyway, i'm really rather upset. i'm not even really mad, i'm just... upset. it makes me feel sick to my stomach when she does this all the time. and then, if i look in the mirror, i immediately start judging myself too.
"You're not even good enough for your own mother."
that's all i hear when she starts in like that.
and it really, really hurts my feelings.
especially since i felt pretty today.
well, so much for that.
sorry this is depressing. but, seriously, if i don't talk about it, i'll explode. no, i won't. but i will cry, or tell someone who will tell mom. (I know you guys won't.)
well, i'm late to VBS. later, kids. i'll blog something happy tonight. i just really, really needed to get this off my chest, because i finally feel like i'm not going to burst into tears. (even if you guys aren't really listening. =])
later, gators.
Me
Monday, June 14, 2010
Busy To The Extreme
Want to know what i've been up to lately?
i'll give you a hint.
it starts with Jesus, and ends with Christ Superstar.
If you said Jesus Christ Superstar, or thought it, i don't know how many of you talk back to me, then you're RIGHT ON THE MONEY! (good for you!)
yeah. i've either been at JCS practice, or listening to the music, or looking at the music, or something (talking about it, thinking about it, that stuff.).
it's. consuming. my. life.
(i love it. =])
interesting things lately.
Logan went to London. do you know how freaking jealous i am? REALLY FREAKING JEALOUS. yeah. i wish i could go to London. but, before he left, we went and bought those... silly bands? i don't know. they're, like, rubber bands, but... shaped like animals? yeah, you totally know what i'm talking about. anyway, i've made lots of friends with them. granted, all these friends are under the age of nine, but i've immediately gone up in coolness points in the eyes of Mike and Max. (i babysit for them and their little sister, Macie, and they're my favorite kids. we have lightsaber fights and play football and baseball and video games and eat chicken nuggets and soon we're GOING TO THE ZOO OMG THE ZOO I FREAKING LOVE THE ZOOOOOO! i'm calm.) also, he took a journal, and he's been writing in it. (that's important to me! i can't wait to read it!)
he's coming back late tonight, so i'll get to see him tomorrow. also coming back are two of my altos for JCS. which is good.
see, currently there are four of us. (and one of them is singing the part of Simon. so she constantly decides that she'd rather go sing with the tenors. P.S. her boyfriend is in the tenor section. so every time she goes to sing with the tenors, really she's sitting by her boyfriend. but, just saying, WE NEED HER! i'm the loudest alto. it's not that the other altos are bad, they're wonderful! they're just quiet. so we NEED ALTOS. and there are lots of tenors. and ONE OF THEM IS JUDAS! AND ONE OF THEM IS HEROD! (he played Jesus last year, too, so he's OBVIOUSLY good (and loud)!) so we need her. end tangent. =])
other things that are up.
uhm....
hanging out with Ray a lot.
started watching Bones.
VBS this week.
DID I MENTION THAT I'M GOING TO THE ZOO? yeah, i am.
Cleaning lots of stuff.
you know, the usual.
writing. things like that.
and with all the happy stuff out of the way...
Primrose died yesterday. she'd been sick for a while, so i expected it. but i'm still sad. and Cat is sad too. you can tell with animals. and she's sad, and that makes me sad, too. my room is depressing now.
so yeah. now i feel like i should say something humorous, because now my blog is depressing! stars, my blog can't be depressing!
oh, i'll think of something.
OH SNAP! i watched The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and it was so freaking awesome. i love Heath Ledger. (WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT? it's not fair. Totally horrible. i miss you. -cries-(BTW, Ray has decided that -cries- is not strong enough. he apparently prefers -has a conniption fit- i just think he doesn't understand how AMAZING Heath Ledger was. -sobs-)) Cole and Danielle watched it before we did, and they were all like, "OMG WE DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAND" and apparently hated it. and Ray and i watched it, and we were like "OMG THAT'S SO AAAAAAAAAAWESOME!"
it's pretty intense. a mi me gusta. =]
well, later, gators. go watch The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. and if you don't like it, i understand. (just don't ever speak to me again.) KIDDING! i'll still love you. (but you'll be dead.) just teasing. later, kids.
wish me luck at VBS. (8 kids tomorrow, under the age of two. one is a tiny, tiny infant who still takes a bottle and needs her head supported. two. workers. (OH STARS!))
i'll give you a hint.
it starts with Jesus, and ends with Christ Superstar.
If you said Jesus Christ Superstar, or thought it, i don't know how many of you talk back to me, then you're RIGHT ON THE MONEY! (good for you!)
yeah. i've either been at JCS practice, or listening to the music, or looking at the music, or something (talking about it, thinking about it, that stuff.).
it's. consuming. my. life.
(i love it. =])
interesting things lately.
Logan went to London. do you know how freaking jealous i am? REALLY FREAKING JEALOUS. yeah. i wish i could go to London. but, before he left, we went and bought those... silly bands? i don't know. they're, like, rubber bands, but... shaped like animals? yeah, you totally know what i'm talking about. anyway, i've made lots of friends with them. granted, all these friends are under the age of nine, but i've immediately gone up in coolness points in the eyes of Mike and Max. (i babysit for them and their little sister, Macie, and they're my favorite kids. we have lightsaber fights and play football and baseball and video games and eat chicken nuggets and soon we're GOING TO THE ZOO OMG THE ZOO I FREAKING LOVE THE ZOOOOOO! i'm calm.) also, he took a journal, and he's been writing in it. (that's important to me! i can't wait to read it!)
he's coming back late tonight, so i'll get to see him tomorrow. also coming back are two of my altos for JCS. which is good.
see, currently there are four of us. (and one of them is singing the part of Simon. so she constantly decides that she'd rather go sing with the tenors. P.S. her boyfriend is in the tenor section. so every time she goes to sing with the tenors, really she's sitting by her boyfriend. but, just saying, WE NEED HER! i'm the loudest alto. it's not that the other altos are bad, they're wonderful! they're just quiet. so we NEED ALTOS. and there are lots of tenors. and ONE OF THEM IS JUDAS! AND ONE OF THEM IS HEROD! (he played Jesus last year, too, so he's OBVIOUSLY good (and loud)!) so we need her. end tangent. =])
other things that are up.
uhm....
hanging out with Ray a lot.
started watching Bones.
VBS this week.
DID I MENTION THAT I'M GOING TO THE ZOO? yeah, i am.
Cleaning lots of stuff.
you know, the usual.
writing. things like that.
and with all the happy stuff out of the way...
Primrose died yesterday. she'd been sick for a while, so i expected it. but i'm still sad. and Cat is sad too. you can tell with animals. and she's sad, and that makes me sad, too. my room is depressing now.
so yeah. now i feel like i should say something humorous, because now my blog is depressing! stars, my blog can't be depressing!
oh, i'll think of something.
OH SNAP! i watched The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and it was so freaking awesome. i love Heath Ledger. (WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT? it's not fair. Totally horrible. i miss you. -cries-(BTW, Ray has decided that -cries- is not strong enough. he apparently prefers -has a conniption fit- i just think he doesn't understand how AMAZING Heath Ledger was. -sobs-)) Cole and Danielle watched it before we did, and they were all like, "OMG WE DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAND" and apparently hated it. and Ray and i watched it, and we were like "OMG THAT'S SO AAAAAAAAAAWESOME!"
it's pretty intense. a mi me gusta. =]
well, later, gators. go watch The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. and if you don't like it, i understand. (just don't ever speak to me again.) KIDDING! i'll still love you. (but you'll be dead.) just teasing. later, kids.
wish me luck at VBS. (8 kids tomorrow, under the age of two. one is a tiny, tiny infant who still takes a bottle and needs her head supported. two. workers. (OH STARS!))
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