so we went to Red Lobster, just the two of us, and then to Barnes and Noble. (What's better than crab meat and books? hmm? the answer is pretty much nothing, except cake. maybe.)
okay. soooooooooo...
i bought two things. due to my current obsession with birds, it comes with the territory of writing a story with a main character named Larkwhisper (inspired by yours truly!), i bought myself this cute little notebook.
isn't it cute? i love it. it's blank inside, perfect for writing. =]anyway, the other thing i bought was a book called Hawksong.
i have this bad habit of not paying attention to the authors, which can sometimes get me into a little trouble. (Like accidentally picking up a book by Stephanie Meyer, for example. oh, fateful day. just teasing, i knew who she was, i just can't not finish a series. but other authors, that i should know are crazy feminists/serial killers/the leader of communist Russia/whatnot. not really to that extreme, but generally just authors that i didn't like something else by them, and wouldn't have picked up their book if i had realized who they were.)
well, i picked up Hawksong. now, i got home, and as i was reading, i thought to myself, "Hey. this writing style feels so familiar. wow... it feels like..." -checks book cover- "Oh, yeah it is. Amelia Atwater-Rhodes."
which i'm totally okay with. i'm rather fond of her, in a big sister/little sister way. (Depending on what thing i'm talking about.) for example, when i read her book, which is, by the way, rather simplistic in writing style, with large, often hard to pronounce fantasy names and things like that, i feel like an incredibly proud older sister. like, i read In The Forests of the Night, and i was like, "Wow. for a 15 year old girl, this is pretty stellar." and now i just keep reading stuff by her, and i'm watching her writing style grow and blossom and she's so much more accomplished now... and yet it still has an almost childlike quality about it. it makes me think of me, kind of. but different. we write differently. but it's the essence that's the same.
anyway. i also feel like a little sister. because, well, i wish i could get my book published. i wish i could be just like her, and have someone read my book and be like, "Hey, isn't that awesome!" and publish it for me. but that's not going to happen.
i'm not forward enough.
also, i think a little of the joy will be taken out of it for me.
Ben's sending his children's book to a publisher.
[this is where i'm going to whine a little bit. (Sorry, guys, i've been in a bad mood.)
i've written two full length novels. (Granted, they're not amazing. but they don't suck, and i like them, and other people like them, and i've worked hard on them.)
Ben wrote a children's novel. yes, it's awesome.
Mom read it and got all excited and helped him find a publisher and won't shut up about it.
she hasn't even read either of mine.
i even offered to let her. i gave her my first one, in a nice, bound copy, and said she should read it.
four months later, i finally asked if she had finished it, because i really needed to get it to the girl who had offered to help me edit it.
she had read, like, a page, and then set it down and hadn't even looked at it again. it was in the bottom of a drawer somewhere. she had to look for it.
that really, really, really hurt my feelings. so i know i'm not going to get any help from her. i'd like to get it published, but i don't think i'd be able to deal if my conversation goes like this.
Me: OMG I'M GETTING MY BOOK PUBLISHED AND AAAAAAH!
Mom: that's nice, sweetie. did you hear what Ben did? he got his children's book published. it was so amazing, and he even drew his own pictures. isn't he awesome?
Me: ... uh... yeah... i guess so...
Mom: Yes, he's perfect.
Me: i'm going to go now.
Mom: okay. oh, yeah, good job.
or this.
Me: i didn't get my book published. they didn't like it.
Mom: i'm sorry, sweetie. Ben got his children's book published. it was so amazing, and he even drew his own pictures. isn't he awesome?
Me: -bursts into tears-
Mom: OMG WHY ARE YOU CRYING? -confused face-
so, yeah. both of those sound pretty sucky. so i figure it'd be better just to not do it. (or not tell my mother, and publish under a different name. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)]
Anyway. i went to a funeral yesterday. it. was. awkward. see, it was my aunt, so my mother was really, really, really upset. but, see, the last time we'd seen her was when she came to our house to give me a christening gown. (Yes, i'm serious. it's been, like, 17 years.) so i didn't know her. and it was a lot of meeting cousins i didn't know, and an uncle i've never met... not fun. Dad took us out to lunch, and then we came home.
Finale was last night. interestingly enough, Finale is also tomorrow. (who knew you could have more than one Finale? =])
also, Paige and Elliot broke up. Elliot and i have plans to watch Moulin Rouge! and eat ice cream. super fun. =] (Not that they broke up, that we're going to hang out.)
Later, kids. =]
