I Love You (And Sharpie Hearts)

have you ever seen that play... oh, the high school put it on a while ago... The Curious Savage! in it, Mrs. Savage says that "i love you" can be said in a bunch of different ways, like, "Take an umbrella, it's raining" and such.
today was my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. super cool. i had fun, i love them so much. but, while i was there, i was thinking about the different ways my family says i love you.
Jakey says things like, "ugh, don't touch me!", which doesn't sound like "i love you", but is. or he comes up and hugs me, and i say, "I'm fond of you," and he says, "you're all right."
that's i love you.
i was sitting in a chair, and i draw a sharpie heart, a little black one, on the inside of my left wrist. i don't know why, i'm just cool like that. and he laughed at me, so i tried to draw one on his arm. which turned into a war. mwuahahahaha.
but that's i love you.
my soon to be cousin, that's my cousin Lissa's fiancee, he tells me i'm dumb and messes up my hair and i punch him in the ribs and call him an idiot.
but that's i love you.
one of my uncles, my great-uncle, to be precise, my grandfather's sister's husband, has not ever, not once, told me he loves me. not in so many words. but when i see him, we growl at each other. literally. like, "Grrrrrr" and wave our hands around and make mean faces. i call him an old codger and he calls me a klutz, and that's i love you.
when he was leaving, i gave him a big hug and then growled at him, and he growled back.
and that's i love you.
my Papaw says i love you, but he also gets excited when i make him peanut butter pie and offer to bring it over to him. our being able to sit together and eat pie and drink coffee, that's i love you. he calls me Squirt and tells me i'm his favorite granddaughter, because i'm his only granddaughter, but he leaves that part out, and i tell him he's my favorite grandfather, because it's true.
that's i love you.
i always wonder how people can be upset and say no one loves them. but sometimes, maybe it's that they aren't hearing it. to some people, some of the things i do to say "I love you" aren't normal. growling at people, throwing rocks at people, punching people... i mean, none of those sound like love, but they are.
ooh, another good example. my best friend and i have this saying. when we're teasing each other, one of us, let's pick me in this situation, "Joelle's fat!", to which Joelle would respond "Caitie's ugly!" and then we both scream, simply because she's not there often enough (super sad face, i love her) "DANIELLE'S STUPID!"
not because i really think Jo is fat, or that she thinks i'm ugly, or that either of us thinks Danielle is stupid... well... no, really, i think she's pretty smart. but it's because that's how we say i love you. (We only say that when, like, we aren't going to see each other for a long time, or if one or both of us is upset.)
but, the point is, i love you is sometimes hard to hear. and i think, when we're feeling sorry for ourselves, sometimes we pointedly don't hear it.
well, that's my thought for today. here are a few things i'm thankful for.
1) Jack. he's a great dog. we're friends. we watch movies and listen to music and such. but he's a good pillow when i'm sick or tired or upset.
2) Johnny Depp. yes, i know that's odd, but gosh darn, i love his movies. Chocolat? love. Benny and Joon? adorable. Secret Window? awesome. From Hell? A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
3) Booker. he's my teddy bear. i'm very fond of him.
4) Cornelia Funke. Awesome. books. 'nuff said.
5) Joshua Shank. now, there's some amazing music. the first time i heard Autumn? i cried. the first time i heard Gabriel's Message, i cried, the first time i heard David's Lamentation, i cried... and i still get a little misty eyed at that one. but that's because it makes me think of Kristian.
6) the last is the best. Danielle. so, today, this guy made me upset, really upset, and i called her. and she made me feel all better. and then we talked about my story for an hour. she's the best. :D

until next time,

Lafaera. <3