On The First Day, There Was Mystery

Keys to the Kingdom is an amazing book series by Garth Nix. he's amazing. and on the back of... Thursday! on Thursday, it says, "On the first day, there was Mystery. On the second day, there was Darkness. On the third day, there were Pirates. On the fourth day, there was War." awesome. :D
so anyway.
someone should put on the rock opera Hazards of Love.
seriously.
coolest album on the face of the earth.
i keep trying to visualize it in my head, and i think if a couple brilliant people but their heads together with the ever amazing Colin Meloy, then we'd have an amazing rock opera on our hands.
the story starts with Margaret, who goes riding. she gets up on the Taiga, (A place that sounds remarkably like 'tiger' when sung) and finds this fawn. and she's like, awwww, super sad face, it's hurt. so she goes to help it.
BUT THEN THE SUN SETS!
dun dun duuuuuuun.
and the fawn turns out to be a man who is under a spell where he takes the form of a fawn by day. (His name is William)
and they fall in love.
(awwww)
so, then, Margaret goes home, but she's pregnant. so, after a while, she finally goes back to find William, because she loves him and wants to be with him and have a family and all that jazz. so she finds him, and they cuddle and sing about how excited they are that they are going to be parents.
enter the Queen.
she's William's mother... sort of. she adopted him. and so she walks up and he's cuddling with this random pregnant woman. (Don't worry, Margaret is asleep.)
so she flips out a little, like any good overprotective, crazy, villainous mother.
(good job.)
and William is like, "I love her, let me have this night with her and don't hurt her or anything, and we'll call it even. you stole my life from me by making me stay here, let me have it back for just a little while." and the Queen sings this AMAZING solo.
Intermission.
woot.
you come back from the interlude to an incredibly creepy song, courtesy of our REAL villain, the Rake. (It's called the Rake's Song. how original, right?)
he got married, had some kids, and then when his wife died he killed his three children so he wouldn't be tied down.
what a jerk, right? but an awesome song.
well, he walks by and sees Margaret and William and, being a rake, decides to kidnap her!
holy smokes.
so he grabs her, flings her across his horse's withers, and rides away with her. and then he gets to the river. which is huge and deep and the narrator tells us that he can't cross it.
enter the Queen. she's like, hey, she was distracting my son and you are going to go defile her. good job. thanks. here, lemme fly you across the river.
and the Rake is like, "Great!"
enter William's theme! it starts playing, which means William wakes up, realizes she's gone, and sets off to find her. he gets to the river, and he can hear her screaming across it. calling his name. how sweet.
so he sings one of my favorite songs of the album. Annan Water. he tells the river that if it will stop, and let him cross, he will commit suicide by jumping into the river after he has saved Margaret.
he's so cool.
so the river lets him across.
we get to hear the Rake tell Margaret that he's going to kill her and dump her body. she calls for William, and the Rake tells her not to bother.
but, of course, William shows up. and so do the Rake's dead children. and they kill him. and then William finds Margaret, but she's been beaten and tortured and possibly raped, and the baby died. so William sings, really sweetly, about the baby, and the Margaret and William get married with the waves as their witness... ie, they both kill themselves so they can be together with their child forever.
it's.
beautiful.
go, my minion, and listen to it.