Do You Always Have To Critique Me?

I'm in a rather bad mood today. and it's... 8:33 in the morning.
Gah, i hate that.
But Mom does this thing where she constantly critiques me. CONSTANTLY. and it's driving me crazy.
she hates my hair, she hates the way i stand, she hates the way i look, the way i eat, does she like anything at all about me?
i'm sorry i'm not a model.
but it's really, really, really hard to even try to have good self esteem when the person in my life who should be the most proud of me, the most supportive, the one who should tell me i'm beautiful and all that instead tells me i look fat, or she hates the color i have to dye my hair, or i shouldn't slouch because it makes me look fat, or i shouldn't roll my shoulders forward, or i shouldn't dress like that because i'm showing too much skin. (You guys have met me. you know how i dress. do i look like a whore to you?)
anyway, i'm really rather upset. i'm not even really mad, i'm just... upset. it makes me feel sick to my stomach when she does this all the time. and then, if i look in the mirror, i immediately start judging myself too.
"You're not even good enough for your own mother."
that's all i hear when she starts in like that.
and it really, really hurts my feelings.
especially since i felt pretty today.
well, so much for that.
sorry this is depressing. but, seriously, if i don't talk about it, i'll explode. no, i won't. but i will cry, or tell someone who will tell mom. (I know you guys won't.)
well, i'm late to VBS. later, kids. i'll blog something happy tonight. i just really, really needed to get this off my chest, because i finally feel like i'm not going to burst into tears. (even if you guys aren't really listening. =])
later, gators.

Me